The Undomestic Goddess PDF Free Download

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Author:Sophie Kinsella
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Legal, Fiction
ISBN: 9781409081166
Publisher: Dell
Published: 2005-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

By seven o’clock that evening, Trish’s mood has unaccountably transformed. Or maybe not so unaccountably. I arrive downstairs in the hall to see her wandering out of the living room with a cocktail glass, bloodshot eyes, and a high color.

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“So!” she says benevolently. “You’re going out with Nathaniel tonight.”

“That’s right.” I glance at myself in the mirror. I’ve gone for a fairly informal outfit. Jeans, nice simple top, sandals.

“He’s a very attractive young man.” She eyes me inquisitively over the top of her glass. “Very muscular!”

“Er… yes. I suppose so.”

“Is that what you’re wearing?” She runs her eyes over my outfit. “It’s not very jazzy, is it? Let me lend you a little something.”

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“I don’t mind not being jazzy—” I begin, feeling a few qualms, but Trish has already disappeared up the stairs. A few moments later she appears, holding a jewel box.

“Here we are. You need a bit of glitz.” She produces a diamante clip in the shape of a sea horse. “I got this in Monte Carlo!”

“Er…lovely!” I say, eyeing it in horror. Before I can stop her, she sweeps my hair to one side and plonks it on. She looks at me appraisingly. “No… I think you need something larger. Here.” She fishes out a large jeweled beetle and clips it to my hair. “Now. You see how the emerald brings out your eyes?”

I gaze at myself speechlessly. I cannot go out with a sparkly beetle on my head.

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“And this is very glam!” Now she’s garlanding a gilt chain around my waist. “Let me just hang the charms on…”


“Mrs. Geiger…” I begin, flustered, as Eddie appears out of the study.

“Just got the quote in for the bathroom,” he says to Trish.

“Isn’t this twinkly elephant gorgeous?” says Trish, hooking it on the gilt belt. “And the frog!”

“Please,” I say desperately. “I’m not sure I need any elephants—”

“Seven thousand.” Eddie cuts across me. “Seems quite reasonable. Plus VAT.”

“Well, how much is it with VAT?” says Trish, rifling in her box. “Where’s that monkey gone?”


I feel like a Christmas tree. She’s hanging more and more glittery baubles off the belt, not to mention the beetle. And Nathaniel will arrive any moment—and he’ll see me.

“I don’t know!” retorts Eddie impatiently. “What’s seventeen and a half percent of seven thousand?”

“One thousand, two hundred, and twenty-five,” I respond absently.

There’s a stunned silence.

Shit. That was a mistake.

I look up to see Trish and Eddie goggling at me.

“Or… something.” I laugh, hoping to distract them. “Just a guess. So… have you got any more charms?”

Neither of them takes the slightest notice of me. Eddie’s eyes are fixed on the paper he’s holding. Very slowly he looks up, his mouth working strangely.

“She’s right,” he announces. “She’s bloody right. That’s the correct answer.” He jabs the paper. “It’s here!”

“She’s right?” Trish breathes in sharply. “But how…”

“You saw her! She did it in her head!” They both swing round to goggle at me again.

“Is she autistic?” Trish seems beside herself.

Oh, for God’s sake. Rain Man has a lot to answer for, if you ask me.


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